Welcome to the two-hundred and thirty-fourth episode of the Heart + Hustle Podcast!

In this episode, we explore simple yet effective ways to unwind after work, including unplugging from devices, practicing guided meditation, and engaging in exercise to release tension and boost endorphins. We also discuss the benefits of creative hobbies, reading for pleasure, and connecting with friends to reduce stress and improve mood. Tune in for practical tips to help you transition from work mode to relaxation and create a healthier work-life balance.

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Meet the hosts: Angelica Yarde and Charisma O’Keefe

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Episode Transcription

00:00.92
Angelica
Hi friends, welcome back to the Heart + Hustle Podcast. I’m Angelica Yarde.

00:04.26
Charisma
And I’m Charisma O’Keefe, and we are here every Monday talking to you about entrepreneurship, business, wealth, health, balance, and so many other things. We’ve been podcasting for a million years at this point.

00:16.60
Charisma
We’re so happy that you are still tuning in and listening. You guys are the best. I love this audience. And yeah, we’re here for another week during Black History Month. It’s been a wild start to 2025. I feel like we’ve had a lot of good moments during February, though, so I’m thankful for that.

00:34.21
Charisma
But overall, it is wild. It is wild.

00:37.54
Angelica
You know what? I’m gonna move my focus. I did want to—you know, I like every podcast to highlight Black Excellence. I did want to talk about someone just because I feel like it’s going to go a little under the radar.

00:48.29
Angelica
Zeb Powell won the X Games, and he’s 20. He’s the first Black snowboarder to win.

00:53.98
Charisma
This is what I’m saying.

00:54.44
Angelica
So cute.

00:55.01
Charisma
We’re having really good moments.

00:55.91
Angelica
You—

00:56.88
Charisma
We really are.

00:57.30
Angelica
As someone who watched the X Games when they started—when we were youths, with the Sean Whites and the Chloe Kims and all of that—it was really cool to see a little Black kid take gold in snowboarding. Shout out to Zeb Powell and his family for investing in all that.

01:21.43
Angelica
Those snowboard lessons and time on the slopes—because those numbers add up.

01:25.95
Charisma
Black people are winning this month, and I really love that there are all these competitions, award shows, and sporting events happening at the same time during this month—and that Black people are winning all of them.

01:38.84
Angelica
They sure are.

01:39.03
Charisma
I love that. I love that.

01:39.99
Angelica
Love that for us.

01:41.08
Charisma
I definitely want to keep this winning energy throughout the year. I don’t know if we will because, like I said, January was a lot, and there’s a lot of other stuff going on, but that part of it is very good.

01:55.67
Angelica
So we are talking about some ways to relax after work. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, even if you’re just trying to relax after putting your kids to bed—all these things are very important.

02:05.26
Charisma
Yeah, because it’s important to focus on work, but part of being productive in the first place is knowing when to call it quits and being able to unwind, relax, and unplug. You have to have balance. You’re not going to be productive, and you’re not going to reach your goals if you’re not letting yourself rest.

02:24.02
Charisma
I think it’s really important to talk about rest during Black History Month. There’s a push for activism lately—which is needed because the world’s on fire—so it’s fair. But I don’t think we spend enough time talking about how even the most famous activists in the Black community took time to rest.

02:37.75
Charisma
I really love the work that the Nap Ministry does because they shine a light on that. They talk about how important it is to take care of yourself and rest—that our ancestors rested, that our civil rights leaders rested.

03:01.81
Charisma
And so while you’re doing community-building work, starting your business, or flourishing in your business, it’s still important to take care of yourself and rest.

03:13.80
Angelica
Yes, so we will be getting into that. One of the first things you can do is unplug from your digital self. Turn off your notifications. My notifications are already all off, by the way.

03:27.93
Angelica
Don’t try to get in touch with me—just don’t worry about it. But if you haven’t turned them off at the end of your workday, turn them off. Step away from work-related devices. Your work computer needs to be in a different room from you or put away in a drawer. If you’re in a studio, put it somewhere you won’t see it. If your monitors are on a desk in the living room like mine are—

03:47.71
Angelica
If you feel so inclined, you can even put a cute little tapestry over them and make them part of your décor so you don’t have to think about it.

03:49.56
Charisma
Thank you.

03:53.38
Angelica
But do what you need to do to unplug. You can also create that personal boundary between work and personal time. If you’re commuting into work, I know RTO is a big thing now…

04:04.93
Angelica:
Everybody going back to work full-time or going back hybrid some days is making sure that you have clarification of, like, once I leave this building or once I turn my computer off, I am done.

04:17.87
Angelica:
Do not contact me. Put on your out-of-office message if you need to, and at the end of the day, put it in your signature if you need to, to make sure that people know I am only accessible during specific hours.

04:28.39
Angelica:
If you think it is rude, you have never worked with a client from Europe or have never worked with people from Europe because that is very honestly the norm, where people are saying, “I am on holiday” or “I am on limited hours,” et cetera. Let people know.

04:34.87
Charisma:
You—

04:40.70
Angelica:
Your availability upfront to know that you will not be available at all times. Walmart is not even twenty-four hours anymore.

04:47.36
Charisma:
No, and you are much more high-value than Walmart.

04:47.60
Angelica:
Why argue?

04:51.47
Angelica:
If you have not already, set those boundaries very strongly for yourself and make sure that you keep those going forward. Also, get an accountability partner who you do work with, who can hold you accountable. If they see you replying to emails, if they see you logging in, updating your project management board, they can send you a message real quick like, “Girl, no.”

05:14.11
Angelica:
Why are you online?

05:14.73
Charisma:
Great.

05:16.24
Angelica:
We all need to have that boundary between work and life.

05:19.86
Charisma:
And I do that now with people that I do work with. Somebody will be like, “Oh, yeah, I will get that to you at five-thirty or so,” and it is like, no, get it to me tomorrow. I do not need it. I will not be looking at it.

05:44.17
Charisma:
And I had to actually tell somebody on Friday because they were like, “Oh, I am going to go discuss that with so-and-so, and then I will get back to you and let you know later today.” And I was like, “Well, it is four-thirty now, so I will not be available for the rest of the weekend, but you are welcome to send it to me on Monday and email it to me, and I will look at it then.”

05:57.11
Charisma:
So, just letting people know—putting those boundaries up so that you can truly unplug.

06:10.04
Charisma:
Because I know people who are literally answering work emails as they drive. No, you all are doing too much. Put it away. I actually, and I know this is controversial, but I do not email people from my phone for work. I just do not.

06:27.56
Charisma:
To me, I get myself in the headspace for email, and then I come in and work through my inboxes. I feel like a lot of my emails often require more than just three sentences. I have to actually do something, and so I set aside time every day to go through my inbox. I am in that headspace and ready to do it. I do it on my actual laptop or I will do it on my desktop, but I do not do it on my phone.

06:40.77
Charisma:
There need to be some boundaries because we just cannot. Our screen times are out of control. Go check your screen time. If you do not know how to do it on your phone, there are YouTube videos to show you how to do it depending on what type of phone you have, but it is very easy to check.

07:18.63
Charisma:
And I think sometimes checking that screen time on your phone can make you realize, “Wow, maybe I do have an extra hour every day to go for a walk or read a book or whatever, but I am so attached to my phone and so addicted to my phone that that is where the disconnect is.” So, I feel like I do not have any extra time, but really what I need to do is completely unplug from my phone.

07:33.10
Charisma:
And when you have a set time where you are like, “Listen, this is when I am done with work,” then you are going to feel a lot more comfortable putting that phone down, putting it in the other room maybe, and being present for what you are actually doing.

07:50.09
Charisma:
And let me tell you, this is doable in every single field. I know people are listening and saying, “Oh, well, I cannot because I am in this field. I am in that field.” Trust me, you can.

07:50.09
Charisma:
I think in real estate, I realized that it is one of the fields where people have the least healthy boundaries.

08:06.22
Charisma:
When my husband got into it, so many people were trying to work late into the night. But the thing is, for most situations, they have to wait until the next day to actually do the thing because they have to wait until the bank is open or whatever it is.

08:20.97
Charisma:
So, you are really just stressing yourself out at night for no reason half the time. Even if you need to work past five, there is really no reason to be working past seven. You know what I mean? Put a timer on, turn it off, put it away.

08:25.45
Angelica:
Yes, and I know if you are like me and you do have clients all over, today I have an APAC meeting, so I am going to be talking to Australia at seven o’clock tonight. But that means for a certain time period, I am not working during the day. So, I am not available. I have flexibility in figuring that out.

08:46.10
Angelica:
I am taking that time off. I am not going to work from seven to seven. That is just not what I am doing today. I am taking breaks, doing what I need to do, having my workouts in between. Every hour, I am taking a break.

09:13.27
Angelica:
So, you can find ways to work around your schedule. It is not just, “Oh, well, I have to be up late.” Yes, I understand some people do have to be up late for calls, especially in global companies. But you can find ways to navigate that.

09:21.19
Charisma:
Yeah.

09:22.68
Angelica:
The second thing that you could be doing to relax after work is meditation.

09:23.14
Charisma:
Exactly.

09:27.68
Angelica:
And that looks different for a lot of folks. I know a lot of people hear the word “meditation” and they check out. They turn the podcast off. They move on. But it really is an experience that varies from person to person, and you have to find the type of fit that works for you.

09:44.49
Angelica:
Not all meditation is chanting. Not all meditation is rooted in East Asian medicine. It really is about finding that practice of finding solace for yourself.

10:22.17
Angelica:
Relaxing, focusing, unwinding, and letting that stress go. Is that savasana at the end of your yoga session? Is it all of these things? Most people are like, “Oh, I get to my car after work, and when I get home, I sit in my garage and just take a moment.” That is meditation. You are taking that time to decompress, letting the day get out of your system before you walk into another space so you can bring in renewed energy.

So that is really what we mean when it comes to meditation—wait, not medication. Well, some of you all need medication.

10:51.72
Charisma:
Feels like medication.

10:52.08
Angelica:
But it feels like medication. Maybe some people need a little bit more. But the meditation of it all is really just about finding that time to have that solace, to focus, recenter yourself, and stabilize your emotional state. It is easy to get worked up throughout the day, so you really need to take some time to check in, recenter yourself, find your focus, your rhythm, and your peace before you truly unwind.

And it helps you sleep better. It helps you think more clearly. So definitely take some time to meditate.

11:27.57
Charisma:
And I think a lot of people feel intimidated if they see meditation sessions lasting 10, 20, or 30 minutes. But really, even five minutes can make a huge difference. Just starting with a few minutes, a few deep breaths—that alone can make a difference.

11:44.99
Charisma:
I think a lot of people also get intimidated when they think about meditation without guidance or if they have never tried a guided meditation. And I get it—many people struggle without guidance. I know I certainly did.

I used to think, “I cannot turn off everything in my head. If I sit here in silence, my brain is still going to be racing with a thousand different thoughts.”

12:09.89
Charisma:
That is why I highly recommend guided meditation. It really does make a difference. I do not even try to meditate on my own without guidance anymore.

12:20.76
Charisma:
I used to push myself to do it alone, and then I finally asked, “Why?” When I have a guided meditation, I do not have to fight against my own thoughts. It just makes sense.

12:31.96
Charisma:
So I can really just relax into it.

12:32.51
Angelica:
Mm-hmm.

12:34.50
Charisma:
I turn it on, and I do not have to think about it. It makes it incredibly easy.

I have used the Calm app before, and I liked it. But my go-to, and what I always recommend, is Magical Color Shower on YouTube because it is free and only nine minutes long.

12:56.28
Charisma:
It is such a great way to get started if you are unsure about meditation. If you have never tried it before, this is an easy entry point. It is also great to have something quick that you can always go back to—something that you know works.

13:13.78
Charisma:
As you get more comfortable with it, you can explore longer ones on YouTube or use apps like Headspace and Calm. There are so many great options out there.

And honestly, meditation becomes such an amazing part of your day. Once you get into it, you actually want to do it more. It is something you look forward to, something you want to keep revisiting.

If I could, I would probably spend two hours a day meditating because it is just such a delicious feeling. That is the only way I can describe it.

13:47.51
Charisma:
So I want to do it even more than I already do. But, you know, I have to work and participate in capitalism, so I cannot.

But it makes a massive difference. Even if you do not have a long time, a nine-minute meditation like Magical Color Shower will help bring you into a sense of calm. It lets you switch out of work mode and into your personal time.

14:15.48
Charisma:
The third thing you can do to relax after work is exercise.

This is such an important one—getting into your body. You spend the whole day using your brain for decision-making and problem-solving. Now, it is time to shift gears and move.

14:33.92
Charisma:
Exercising is a great way to do that. And this can be anything—literally anything. It can be as simple as walking or stretching.

14:44.53
Charisma:
Or it can be something more structured, like Pure Barre, Pilates, a HIIT workout, lifting weights, or swimming. There are so many different ways to move your body.

And it is amazing because it releases tension. Any conflicts or stress from your workday—whether something upset you or just challenged you—exercise helps you process it. It does not have to be something terrible; it could just be a tough situation. Either way, movement helps.

15:07.51
Charisma:
It is going to create some tension in your body, so you want to make sure that at the end of the day, you are releasing that tension. It also boosts endorphins so that you feel good as you transition into your leisure time.

I think doing the first three steps together works really well—unplugging, turning off notifications, and saying, “I am done with that.”

15:30.67
Charisma:
Throwing on a 10-minute meditation and then going out to move your body—even something as simple as a 15- or 20-minute walk—can be amazing. Incorporating all three of these things at the same time can really transform the way you end your workday.

15:47.29
Angelica:
Yes, because it takes care of your mental health, physical health, and spiritual health all at once, so you can invest in doing other things.

I know I posted some amazing Black fitness influencers in the show notes a couple of episodes ago, and I will repost them, along with a few more who focus on different types of workouts.

16:07.49
Angelica:
I think those ladies were mostly lifting, running, and yoga enthusiasts, but there is a variety of different people you can follow.

16:15.13
Charisma:
Yes.

16:16.15
Angelica:
They make fitness fun. There is something inspiring about seeing people who look like you or have the same body type as you moving their bodies and making it enjoyable. Not everyone has the same body type, but when you see someone similar to you doing it, it encourages you to think, “Okay, if they can do it, I can do it.” You start figuring out how to make it work for yourself.

Like Charisma said, it is not always about an hour-long HIIT class. It can be a 15-minute walking video with someone strolling through Paris on YouTube. You could be marching in place at home. You could turn on the Peloton app for an audio-guided walk, moving through your neighborhood while someone talks you through it and cheers you on.

There are so many options, and I will make sure to link to those resources in the show notes. But please, move your body. It is so important.

17:15.07
Angelica:
As we get older, we have more opportunities to become stagnant. Most adults between 35 and 50 are in the most intense phase of their careers. They are often in management positions, heavily focused on work or parenting, and not as concerned about their physical well-being.

17:26.83
Angelica:
Then, by the time they reach 55, they realize everything hurts. Keep moving your body so you do not experience those aches and pains later.

17:46.15
Angelica:
Another thing you can do is invest in a creative outlet after work—something that helps you take your mind off things you cannot control.

17:58.28
Angelica:
Let me tell you, most people do not have hobbies. More people need to find hobbies that are not just social media. It is so easy to doom-scroll after work and pick up your phone again.

18:08.66
Angelica:
But let me encourage you to do something else—rug tufting, drawing, writing, cooking, taking photos with an actual camera, or hand lettering. Joann’s is going out of business in many places, and they are selling hand-lettering kits for pennies right now.

18:29.63
Angelica:
Painting, puzzles, poetry—there are so many ways to create something meaningful with your hands.

If you are a sporty person and miss playing sports, join a recreational league. That can be your creative outlet. That can be how you channel your energy, release endorphins, and challenge yourself.

I encourage you to find a hobby that is not just about keeping up with social media drama or celebrity news.

18:59.33
Angelica:
That should be your outlet—your way of expressing yourself.

19:18.04
Charisma:
Mm-hmm.

19:20.33
Angelica:
There are so many things happening in the world that you do not need to be a part of. Instead, focus on yourself.

19:35.81
Angelica:
People always say, “Oh, you are so creative. How do you do it?” And I tell them, “I am not doing anything else.” Right now, I am writing.

I have written 200,000 words in two months. That is how bad the world is—just in case you were wondering.

19:48.35
Angelica:
I cannot do anything else. I just have to write.

So you need to find that thing—the thing that helps you get through the craziness. As a creative person, I find creative outlets engaging, but I know some people struggle with getting started.

15:07.51
Charisma
It’s going to create some tension in your body, so you want to make sure that at the end of the day, you’re releasing that tension. It’s also going to boost endorphins so that you’re feeling good as you transition into your leisure time. I think following the first three steps together works really well—unplugging, turning off those notifications, and saying, “I’m done with that.”

15:30.67
Charisma
Throwing on a 10-minute meditation and then going out to move your body—even something as simple as a 15- or 20-minute walk—can be an amazing way to end your workday. Incorporating all three of these things at the same time can be really beneficial.

15:47.29
Angelica
Yeah, because it’s taking care of your mental health, physical health, and spiritual health—all of that up front—so you can invest in doing other things. I know I had posted some amazing Black fitness girlies a couple of episodes ago in the show notes, and I will repost them, along with a few more who do a variety of different things.

16:07.49
Angelica
I think those ladies were mostly lifting-focused, but some were runners, yoga practitioners, or involved in other types of movement.

16:15.13
Charisma
Yes.

16:16.15
Angelica
Following them can be a great way to get information because they make it fun. There’s something so encouraging about watching people who look like you or have the same body type move in ways that make fitness enjoyable. It helps you think, “If they can do it, I can do it,” and you can figure out how to make it work for yourself. Like Charisma said, it’s not

16:25.24
Charisma
Mm-hmm.

16:35.34
Angelica
always an hour-long HIIT class. It can be a 15-minute walking video—maybe a virtual walk through Paris on YouTube—or just marching in place at home. You could turn on the Peloton app, go for an audio-guided walk through your neighborhood, and have someone talk you through it, cheering you on. These things are fun and really help. There are so many resources available, and I’ll make sure to link them in the show notes.

But please, move your body! It’s so important. As you get older, people always say, “You need to stay active,” and it’s true.

17:15.07
Angelica
We have more opportunities to become stagnant. I think many adults from 35 to 50 become more sedentary because they’re in their heavy career phase, often at their peak, maybe in management positions. Work or parenting can become the main focus, and physical activity takes a back seat. Then you reach 55, and suddenly everything hurts. Keep moving your body so you don’t experience unnecessary aches and pains.

17:46.15
Angelica
Another thing you can do is have a creative outlet to invest in after work—something to get your mind off things you can’t control.

17:58.28
Angelica
Let me tell you, most people don’t have hobbies, and more people need them—something beyond social media. It’s so easy to doomscroll after work.

18:08.66
Angelica
But let me encourage you to do something else: rug tufting, drawing, writing, cooking, taking photos with an actual camera, or hand lettering. Joann’s is going out of business in a lot of places, and they’re selling hand lettering kits for pennies right now.

18:29.63
Angelica
Painting, puzzles, poetry—there are so many things you can do with your hands to create something you enjoy. Similar to exercise, if you were a sporty person in school and miss it, join a rec league.

18:59.33
Angelica
That can be your creative outlet, your way to channel your energy. Playing sports, strategizing, and challenging yourself can be incredibly fulfilling. But I encourage you to have a hobby—something beyond keeping up with influencer drama or celebrity gossip.

19:18.04
Charisma
Mm-hmm.

19:20.33
Angelica
There are other things happening in the world that you don’t need to be involved in. Focus on yourself. Give yourself the freedom to be creative.

19:35.81
Angelica
People always ask, “Oh, you’re so creative! How do you do it?”

19:48.35
Angelica
Let me tell you, I’m doing nothing else. I’m writing right now. That’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve written like 200,000 words in two months—that’s how bad the world is, in case you’re wondering. But that’s how I’m coping.

20:02.20
Angelica
So, if you’re a sports person, go hang out with some pals. Play pickleball, basketball, bowling, volleyball, or softball. My friend plays soccer with her team. She played as a kid, and now she’s playing again in her 30s. It’s really cool to see her out there.

20:28.40
Charisma
Yeah.

20:28.61
Angelica
No more doomscrolling.

20:29.78
Charisma
Yeah. There are so many ways to be creative, and you don’t have to be perfect at it.

20:36.56
Angelica
No.

20:37.19
Charisma
Especially if you’ve been a creative in the past, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Remember, it’s a hobby—it’s for you. It should be fun.

20:48.47
Charisma
Maybe there was something you always wanted to try but didn’t have time for—drawing, playing an instrument. Now, as an adult, you’re in charge of your schedule. Maybe you were an art kid who had to choose a certain path in school, and now you can explore what you didn’t have time for back then.

21:18.15
Charisma
You could pick up a different instrument or even join a choir. Or you can just have fun at home—we have karaoke at home now! You can throw YouTube on your TV and sing your heart out.

21:42.15
Angelica
Dancing too! There are so many fun dance videos online.

21:44.95
Charisma
Mm-hmm.

21:45.85
Angelica
If you love K-pop, there are tons of K-pop dance tutorials on YouTube!

21:50.18
Charisma
Yes! There are so many fun things you can do. That’s why our first step was unplugging—because we lose so much time to our phones.

22:01.19
Charisma
People always say, “I don’t have time,” but if you check your screen time, you might find you actually do. Not everyone, of course, but a lot of us spend hours doomscrolling. Instead of scrolling for 30 minutes, you could spend that time on a hobby.

22:12.46
Charisma
Even something simple like coloring. If you’re trying to reclaim your time but aren’t ready to commit to something big, start with a coloring book and some pencils.

22:37.85
Charisma
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Writing is another great option—all you need is your brain and either a computer or a pen and paper.

22:49.93
Charisma
So yes, pick up a hobby. Especially for those of us without kids—what are we doing if we don’t have hobbies? Let’s take advantage of the extra time!

23:42.09
Charisma
One of my favorite hobbies—and why this is getting its own section—is reading for enjoyment.

24:13.01
Charisma
Reading because you want to, not because you have to.

24:25.31
Charisma
I think it’s no secret that I’m a reader. I was just telling Angelica that I wish I could work only with books and not people.

24:39.46
Charisma
And if you’re listening—it’s not you, it’s me. I just love books more than most people.

25:12.04
Charisma:
He probably has over a hundred books, and I was like, “Yeah, don’t we all? Isn’t that normal?”

25:21.18
Angelica:
That’s why I don’t ask people to help me move—it’s just books.

25:23.15
Charisma:
I was like, “Yeah, I don’t either because I know my book collection is out of control.” And he was like, “Why don’t you go to the library?” I said, “I do go to the library, but I also own a lot of books. It’s important to me to own them. I need books in every room of my house.”

25:41.53
Charisma:
I absolutely love them. And yes, I buy more than I can read quickly. Right now, I probably have about 20 unread books in my house, but I do read all the books I buy. Some of them I read more than once. When I buy a book, it’s because I know I’ll read it twice, or John and I will both read it, and maybe even both read it twice. Or we’ll read it and then want to lend it out to a friend.

26:09.19
Charisma:
It’s such a great hobby. You don’t have to spend money—libraries are fantastic resources. They need support. You can utilize your local library, which is a great way to go.

26:23.03
Charisma:
Many libraries these days have programs where they’ll deliver books to your house, which is awesome. I know Orange County in Florida (Orlando area) offers that. Libraries also have apps where you can listen to books for free, which is great. You can download apps like Libby for free through your library.

26:37.05
Charisma:
If you’re going to do a subscription service, I’d suggest Everand over Audible because Everand offers more books at once for around $11 a month, whereas Audible gives you just one book at a time or credits.

27:04.80
Charisma:
With Everand, you get access to a lot more books, and you don’t have to buy them one by one. But again, you can always go for free apps through your library.

27:19.15
Charisma:
Books offer so many sub-hobbies. Once you start reading a series, maybe you read fan fiction, join a book club, or just read a book with a friend and talk about it. There’s endless fun with books. It’s a hobby that suits everyone.

27:48.73
Charisma:
Reading really calms your nervous system. You can do it anywhere, even outside. You can carry a book in your purse and read in any spare moment.

27:59.32
Charisma:
That’s literally what I do. If I get to a meeting early, I’ll pop out my book and read for 10 minutes until the others arrive. It’s the perfect hobby for anyone.

28:12.97
Charisma:
It also naturally increases your vocabulary. Reading makes you smarter without even trying. There are so many great topics to learn about because you’re reading works by fantastic authors.

28:24.92
Charisma:
So yes, I love books, and you should read more.

28:38.66
Angelica:
I just imagine Mikhail, that librarian, sponsoring this part of the podcast.

28:45.33
Charisma:
Yes.

28:45.75
Angelica:
Thanks!

28:46.97
Charisma:
Books are everything. I was literally looking at the books in front of me as I started talking about them. They’re so beautiful.

28:55.32
Angelica:
I genuinely imagined him with his little afro and thumbs up, saying, “I hate everything, but books are awesome.”

29:01.86
Charisma:
Yeah, definitely.

29:02.50
Angelica:
I’ve never related to anyone so much.

29:04.08
Charisma:
It’s true.

29:05.48
Angelica:
Yeah.

29:06.28
Charisma:
Books also make great gifts. You got me a book for my birthday, along with a lot of other wonderful gifts. Even a used book is a great gift. It’s a perfect gift for anyone, and books fit in your purse, so you can take them anywhere.

29:29.57
Charisma:
It’s a win-win. You can learn so much from books.

29:31.40
Angelica:
Yeah.

29:34.04
Angelica:
That’s good info on Everand; I hadn’t heard of them. I’ll add the link to the show notes.

29:37.60
Charisma:
Yes, I’ve had it for a while.

29:38.79
Angelica:
I’ll share it with the girls because I’m not really an audiobook person, but I know they’ve been struggling to find a replacement.

29:55.37
Charisma:
Yeah.

30:02.90
Angelica:
So excited that this is a possible solution for the show goal.

30:04.25
Charisma:
Yes.

30:06.94
Charisma:
Yeah, I’ve had it for a while. Probably for two years, maybe longer since I’ve gone through a name change. I stopped doing Audible a long time ago because it wasn’t cost-effective. I think it’s around $14 a month for one book, whereas this app is $11 a month, and you get all the books.

30:29.92
Charisma:
That makes a little more sense to me. I’ve also done some online services where they send you a new book each month. It’s not a surprise, but you select from a list of options. I’ve tried that too.

30:45.95
Charisma:
I’ve also done the surprise one. That’s cool too because you provide some guidelines, and they send you a surprise book. There are a lot of fun ways to enjoy that hobby.

30:57.98
Charisma:
I do both audiobooks and physical books.

30:58.12
Angelica:
Yes.

31:02.24
Charisma:
I don’t really use my Kindle much because I look at screens a lot for work. When I’m done with that, I don’t feel like using another screen to read. But I can see the benefit of a Kindle, especially if you don’t have to use screens much for work. It would be fantastic for that.

31:23.15
Charisma:
I mainly use mine for vacations if I don’t want to carry a stack of books. But I usually end up buying books wherever I go. I also load John’s books onto the Kindle, so one of us uses it at least.

31:43.29
Angelica:
Can you…

31:54.84
Angelica:
The last thing you could do via e-learning is connect with a friend after work. You get in touch with someone, especially if you have a similar work schedule.

31:59.33
Angelica:
It’s really nice for a friend to randomly call you or for you to do the voice notes game, where you send each other your novels via voice note.

32:01.33
Charisma:
Love a voice note.

32:02.54
Angelica:
Oh my gosh, drama! Young people love voice notes, and they can be so scandalous.

32:06.94
Charisma:
I do too because it’s easy.

32:09.05
Angelica:
It’s like a little podcast of drama all the time.

32:11.75
Charisma:
Exactly.

32:11.71
Angelica:
We’re just like, “What’s happening? Keeping up to date.” It helps you process emotions, reduce cortisol levels, relieve stress and anxiety. You need to have friends, good ones.

32:24.99
Angelica:
Friends keep you accountable for everything we just talked about. This also keeps you off the social media phone, the scrolling phone. You’re engaging with someone, and it’s entertaining. You can have weekly Zoom chats with your friends. This was a big thing during the pandemic, but people with long-distance friends still do it. You can have a virtual girls’ night.

33:00.43
Charisma:
Love it.

33:02.76
Angelica:
Why don’t we have a designated house where we pick a night to just hang out?

33:04.02
Charisma:
Yeah.

33:08.79
Angelica:
It’s like you catch up, dump all the drama, and talk about everything. You’re not texting all day or anything.

33:13.15
Charisma:
Right.

33:13.37
Angelica:
I know it’s very privileged to be local and live in the same city for that type of friendship, but I do think there’s benefit in having that one-on-one time where you can fully disengage, just be yourself, get perspective from someone else, and hear about their life. It keeps you up to date.

33:32.31
Angelica:
Having friends is important in adulthood. It helps you manage life in this community. There’s been a lot of conversations about this, and Shirley Rath recently had an interview that everyone’s been posting. She talks about how community helped her career and why she advocates for it. I’ll put a link in the show notes. She mentioned how older actresses, like Cicely Tyson and Maya Angelou, helped her along the way—letting her stay with them for months, helping her audition, offering mentorship. This idea of community is something that’s been instilled in her, and now she gives back to the younger generation.

34:02.46
Charisma:
Mm-hmm.

34:02.55
Angelica:
Friends are the beginning of that community. It’s not always about who can do the most errands or favors; it’s about having conversations. Some of my best friendships are with people who have no expectations—we just have real and honest conversations. They can handle honesty, which I require in my friendships. I don’t like when I can’t be honest, and I expect people to be honest with me too.

34:43.94
Angelica:
I think that’s important for the future, especially as we move forward in this chapter of American history, where people from all generations will be part of history.

35:08.20
Angelica:
They’re going to be too long. They’re like, “What is this?” But you will get through that through community, and that is through friendships. There are varying levels of friends, and I think people need to read more about how other cultures view relationships and what that looks like. I think there’s like 50 levels of love, and I forgot whose culture it is. I think it’s Indian culture. They talk about 50 levels of love and how you love people. I do think that needs to be more of what people engage with, because sometimes we think of friends, and people literally think of the show Friends. They’re like, “We’re going out to eat, in each other’s houses for breakfast every day, drinking at the same coffee shop.” It’s like, no. You have friends that you catch up with once every six months.

35:45.12
Angelica:
You have friends that you can talk to every day. You have friends who live down the street that you can see every single hour of the day, and you can buy groceries together. There’s just a varying level of friendships and relationships. I think people need to evaluate what those things look like in their life and what they need. And also take stock of that and understand that you can’t pour into things that aren’t pouring into you. So this is also a good opportunity for you to say, “Hey, maybe I’ve outgrown some friendships.” Friendships are not forever.

36:10.66
Angelica:
I think that’s important to note, and kudos to anyone listening who feels bad or is in a situation where they think, “I don’t know, and I’m going through this situation, but I guess I have to keep my friend.” You don’t have to.

36:20.91
Angelica:
You don’t. You can move on and open that space up for new people who fit. It’s about finding the right folks.

36:25.74
Charisma:
Yeah, finding the right friends for you makes a huge difference in the quality of your friendships. That makes the difference between a friendship that will relax you and one that causes stress. If every time you talk to a friend, they’re causing you stress, that doesn’t apply.

36:43.75
Charisma:
So we’re definitely speaking about positive friendships—ones that give you oxytocin, where your brain feels happy and calm. It’s about being with people who make you feel safe, people you can trust, people you can talk to about what’s going on in your life. You can be there for them, and they can be there for you. That’s the kind of friendship that fills your cup.

37:08.57
Charisma:
It’s a great way to end the day after work. Some of my friends will call friends who don’t live here on their way home from work just to chat. I love doing Zoom calls with people who aren’t local. I do that with my friend Morgan. We don’t do it all the time since we’re both busy, but when we do, it’s really nice because it feels like we’re having important one-on-one time. There are no distractions, no phones. It’s just her and I on Zoom, getting to talk.

37:51.76
Charisma:
It feels like we’re at a coffee shop, but we’re on Zoom, and it’s great. Having friends you can go to a coffee shop with and catch up is wonderful. You can do other activities with them too—maybe your friend is your exercise partner, or you and your friend go for a walk once a week. You can try out new things together, like a cooking class. But yes, investing in friendships is key.

38:11.27
Charisma:
I keep hearing about a loneliness epidemic in America. I’m not sure if it’s a worldwide thing, but I think it’s mostly an American problem. Some other countries might have loneliness, but it’s more of an issue here.

38:30.90
Angelica:
Yeah, it seems like it’s a problem in what we call “developed” countries.

38:31.32
Charisma:
Exactly. And it stems from our obsession with individualism. We aren’t taking the time to be in community, to be there for other people, and to build friendships. Friendships don’t just happen; they’re not something that falls into your lap. They’re things you invest time and effort into.

38:53.29
Charisma:
You have to build these friendships if you want them to be impactful and meaningful. So yes, invest that time with people. It’s a positive thing, and it should be something that helps relax you.

39:10.28
Charisma:
I think a lot of people spend too much time in the wrong friend groups, with the wrong friends, and in the wrong situations.

39:17.84
Angelica:
Mm-hmm.

39:19.79
Charisma:
And then they say, “I don’t want to talk to anybody. I’m not trying to be around anyone.” That happens because the people you’re hanging out with aren’t sources of relaxation or calm.

39:34.21
Charisma:
It’s important to make sure you’re aligning yourself with the right people—people you can trust, people who are truthful, or whatever other important qualities are for you. Those things are different for everyone, but whatever is important to you, make sure your friend is living up to those qualities and that you’re doing the same.

39:57.36
Charisma:
Then, it will be a positive friendship that brings you joy and comfort.

40:03.61
Angelica:
So for sure, we hope that these little lists—honestly, it’s not that long—are a great start to finding some peace and reclaiming your post-work life, whatever that work looks like for you. I understand that there’s so much going on, and parents typically are like, “Well, after that, I go to soccer practice, then I go to gymnastics, then I go to cheer.” After that, we’re talking about after that. Working parents, when you have that one hour to yourself…

40:23.27
Angelica:
Well, after that, I go to soccer practice, and then I go to gymnastics, and then I go to cheer. After that, we’re talking about after that. After that, it’s working parents, when you have that one hour to yourself.

40:33.16
Charisma:
Yeah. Feeling yourself. Start by giving yourself five minutes.

40:35.47
Angelica:
Right.

40:37.34
Charisma:
Like, don’t say, “Oh, I can’t get this whole list done.”

40:38.42
Angelica:
Right. Exactly.

40:40.77
Charisma:
So, you know, it’s not worth it.

40:41.56
Angelica:
Just give yourself.

40:42.37
Charisma:
No, start with giving yourself five minutes. Say, “I’m going to give myself five minutes today.”

40:44.64
Angelica:
Right.

40:46.60
Charisma:
I deserve five minutes today. Then the next day, you’ll give yourself 10 minutes. Maybe try to give yourself 10 minutes for a whole week. See if you can manage 10 minutes for a whole week. After that, maybe you can work up to 20 or 30.

40:58.79
Charisma:
And don’t be afraid to ask for help with that. Again, tell somebody, “Hey, I need you to watch my kid for 20 minutes so that I can give myself something.”

41:04.64
Angelica:
I’ve got to go for a walk. Hey…

41:07.64
Charisma:
And if you need to, you can always have your kids join you with some of these things as well. Kids can meditate. I have a cousin who actually teaches kid yoga, and I think it’s the best thing. You’re teaching them at a young age how to know their breath, how to be mindful. It’s very, very impactful. So, have your kids join you for meditation or have them join you to cook.

41:32.35
Charisma:
I used to cook with my mom all the time. It was one of my favorite things to do, a way that we would bond. Have your kids come take a walk with you. Whatever it is. No excuses. You deserve to relax after work.

41:47.46
Angelica:
Yes, for sure. We will continue to celebrate Black History Month, all year long, continuing to give you guys some nuggets and gifts.

41:57.88
Angelica:
We really hope this helps you find your center.

41:59.76
Charisma:
And if there’s something you do that totally works for you and you swear by it, let us know. We’re always looking for new ways to relax.

42:05.41
Angelica:
And we don’t know about… you know, the girlies who are wearing those infrared masks in your house, let me know how that works. Like, I just—All those weird things that I don’t do, tell me about them so I can know if they work or not, so I can find some self-improvement hacks.

42:12.91
Charisma:
Yeah.

42:21.38
Angelica:
But yes, as always, you can rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts. You can leave us notes on our Instagram, our Heart Hustle Pod on Instagram.

42:32.93
Angelica:
Heart Hustle Podcast, I keep forgetting that. It doesn’t exist anymore, so we’re not Heart Hustle Pod anymore. We’re Heart and Hustle Podcast. Look at us. We will be back next week.

42:43.48
Charisma:
See you next week.